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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683181">Mouse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrathNotRat/pseuds/WrathNotRat'>WrathNotRat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Before [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Siblings, Canon-Typical Violence, Family Dynamics, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, Past Lives, Softness for John</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:07:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrathNotRat/pseuds/WrathNotRat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a One Shot softness for John. A bit of a time jump to and fro to add a little love to his difficult childhood with the Duncans.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Seed &amp; Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Before [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey you guys!! This is my first ever One Shot. I realised I paid a looooot of attention to Jacob and muscles, and I wished to write a One Shot series, and decided to give first bow to John. Let him have the first squish.</p>
<p>Now, Jacob is in here because JACOB, but this is not a wuvey dovey, not in that way, and it's based on John and with mentions to his childhood with the Duncans. So there will be minor mentions of suffering, as in, physical and mental pain, because the Duncans were bastards.</p>
<p>May those fictional characters rot in hell. </p>
<p>The story is brisk, but I felt like my character was brisk, no time for bullshit in comparison to smooth talking John, so I went with that.</p>
<p>This is meant to be a One Shot. Obviously, it could continue but the intention was a One Chapter story, so I can focus on my other characters, but give John a little heart. First part of a series.</p>
<p>Yes, John is cruel, and sadistic, truly takes pleasure in suffering, fairly full of hate. But if I can find a hint of humanity in anybody, fictional characters included, then I do try to search for the good. And he does have good in him. It won't always be this way with every Fanfic, but that's why we love Fanfics. It's our way of continuing, and exploring, and searching for much more than we were given.</p>
<p>Let's give John Seed a touch of love through a new character made just for him. His little Mouse.</p>
<p>You know I ramble on 😋 </p>
<p>Enjoy x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>5 years old.</p>
<p>That entire first day she met him, she clung to him.</p>
<p>She didn't know who he was, only that he didn't yell at her, and that he felt soft and warm, his quiet voice soothing in her ear as he held her to his side, both arms wrapped around her.</p>
<p>He was different than the basement. She didn't know how long she had spent down there. Watching the dots of dust bounce around in the harsh light forced upon her. </p>
<p>1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. </p>
<p>She could count even higher than that.</p>
<p>The adults said she was <em> very </em>  smart.</p>
<p>8 bare bright lights shining, keeping her from sleep, keeping her from knowing when to sleep.</p>
<p>Just the blare of the noise, over and over and over and over again. </p>
<p>You must be good.<br/>
You must be cleansed.<br/>
Or you will go to hell.</p>
<p>She must be good.<br/>
She must be cleansed.<br/>
She was in hell.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Darkness. </p>
<p>Cloth tied tight across my eyes, reaching down and down almost to my nostrils. Had it slipped, or was this intentional? The mere threat that at any second, the knot could slip, and cause me to slowly suffocate.</p>
<p>You're thinking "So, dummy, why can't you breathe from those lips of those?" Well, I have a mouth on me. Fairly proud of it. I'm pretty small, but my gob isn't, and it usually gets me into situations that I'm only grateful I can talk my way out of.</p>
<p>It gets me in. It gets me out.</p>
<p>Now, I'm in. </p>
<p>My mouth has some oil stained rag latched around it, tied behind back. The fumes made me gag, until, luckily, my reflex decided that barfing like this would be a big fuck no.</p>
<p>Hope County. 'Hope' as in, be okay with this fucking County stealing it away from you. </p>
<p>I came here for a job. They needed a nurse. I wasn't the best nurse, admittedly. Kinda new at it. Spent too much time dotting about back in England. </p>
<p>I was looking for something that could never be found because it never existed. </p>
<p>They liked that I had a twinge of a British accent. I was brought up in America, but I studied in Britain. Different worlds. I found that Americans like the accent so I thickened it up on the video interview, and here I am. </p>
<p>Tied to a fucking chair.</p>
<p>I sassed too much. Told it like it is. Friends bought me mocking gifts about my big mouth. Never thought it would get me here, though.</p>
<p>Colour me surprised.</p>
<p>Night after my entry into Hope County. Fucking weird vibe this place gave out, but I'd been around a few places. Wasn't too terrible. People waved hello. Smiled friendly like. A bit of a weird fascination with some sort of star pattern, but maybe it was a harvest thing. They did have an awful lot of boxes stacked about. Some trippy scarecrow art, a fair bit of blood for effect. Guns... A few, but welcome to middle America. They seemed proud of them, swinging them about, shooting into scarecrows.</p>
<p>Pizza. All I wanted was a pizza. Pepperoni. Extra melted cheese. And they were proud of it enough to put it on the map. I only wish they hadn't. </p>
<p>I was so fucking close.</p>
<p>They hit my truck. Their fault, not mine. They got out all calm and relaxed, and then they aimed their guns at me. I was still in my truck, a little stunned, a little dented. I had a handgun in my door, and a can of pepper spray on my hip. Rape whistle wasn't enough. </p>
<p>They weren't cops, but they acted like more brutal versions of them as they smashed my back window, and slashed my tires before I'd even gotten out. I kept my gun to my hip, my pepper spray just behind. </p>
<p>Dealer's choice.</p>
<p>The first man hit me in the brow with his gun. I shot him in the gut. </p>
<p>The second man twisted, gun raised. I shot him in the leg.</p>
<p>The third man riddled my car with bullets, causing me to duck and cover behind my car. I ran fast, round mine, and dodged around his, making my way around his back. A quick tap to his shoulder, a bullet to his knee, and a good, hard pull of the pepper spray left him screaming on the floor next to his friends.</p>
<p>I didn't see the fourth man. </p>
<p>Muscular arm. Scarred to hell and back and back to hell. </p>
<p>I was out. Oblivion. Content in the Darkness. </p>
<p>I hated the light.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>8 years old.</p>
<p>I will be cleansed.<br/>
I will.<br/>
I won't let you down, Mother.<br/>
I won't fail you, Father.</p>
<p>Yes, Father.<br/>
Yes, Mother.</p>
<p>Better get it right.</p>
<p>You know what'll happen if you don't.</p>
<p>She didn't cling to him as much. They learned to speak without words. Mother and Father watched them. Day and night. On and off. She missed his voice the most. A touch here and there as they prayed together. They were watched. </p>
<p>He had a hint of height on her. All string bean, and shooting up everyday. The one time she had somehow managed to outgrow him, she wouldn't let him forget it.</p>
<p>They teased each other before. Now it was difficult. They were always watched. They suffered if they smiled. They screamed if they laughed. </p>
<p>She missed him. She hoped he missed her. </p>
<p>Forever together, but never themselves. She knew he was in there. </p>
<p>She missed him so much.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Tied up. Can't move. </p>
<p>Blind, almost furious in how tight the cloth was.</p>
<p>Scent of blood.<br/>
Scent of earth.</p>
<p>Mixed together.</p>
<p>Gruff voice </p>
<p>"You did good, kid. Got spirit. You might survive this."</p>
<p>I spit out, best I could.</p>
<p>"Fuck you! Those cunts started this shit."</p>
<p>He brushed it off.</p>
<p>"Easy now. The fun is just getting started. Try not to piss me off too soon."</p>
<p>Easier said. And, in a moment of conflict, not my brightest idea, I leaned over to the Gruff, and bit him on his bare arm. </p>
<p>Couldn't see it.</p>
<p>Fucking felt it.</p>
<p>Blood on my lips, and soon after, that damn oily rag, and a good, solid clip around the ear that spun me to the moon.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>12 years old.</p>
<p>Church. School. Church. Study. Pray. Rest.</p>
<p>Atone.<br/>
Repeat.</p>
<p>One day, they escaped, knowing they'd have to go back. It was her idea, and her execution. She broke him out. He had to stuff his sock in his mouth to stop from laughing so hard.</p>
<p>They ran and ran in the dark. They did so well in the dark. It was better for them. They thrived in it. After a mile or so, she held his hand. Not forced this time. Not for the perfect family picture - stiff smiles, and heavy Bibles. </p>
<p>She held his hand BY CHOICE. </p>
<p>He was leaving her. Not yet physically. But she felt it. No more teasing. No more secret talks. No more nudging behind the family pulpit. </p>
<p>She wouldn't let him go. She would remind him. She was his baby sister. Adopted, yes, but he was all she remembered. </p>
<p>The only darkness in her life.</p>
<p>The only life in her light.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Heavy doors. Dragging along metal. Taste of blood. Metal. </p>
<p>They've got a theme. I would have mentioned this to them but oily rag rules the day.</p>
<p>Dragging, then Gruff lifted me high up and over his shoulder. His muscles digging into my belly. Lots of stairs. On and on. No heavy breathing from Gruff. </p>
<p>One solid bonk to my head. No apologies. </p>
<p>Just a gruff laugh from Gruff, and a quick</p>
<p>"Just reminding you that you're still alive, kid."</p>
<p>He'd have to do better than that.</p>
<p>I said nothing. No grunt. Just a solid booted kick to his hard stomach. </p>
<p>He grunted. I laughed.</p>
<p>Revenge in tiny bits.</p>
<p>He squeezed my leg tight for that, digging his nails in. Held the other fast before I could kick him again. Anticipation. He's a soldier. Scars make sense now.</p>
<p>I'd kick him later.</p>
<p>Mutterings of men and women. The "father" mentioned repeatedly. Mentions of "reaping", "the deputy", "sinners". </p>
<p>I don't think they were interested in a harvest. </p>
<p>Eventually, we stopped. Gruff tightened his hold.</p>
<p>"Brother, I have a spunky one for ya. I want her when you're finished. The little brat bit me. Been a long time since it was anything but a fucking wild animal that did that shit. I can make sommit out of her. You make sure she's still got some bite left when you're finished."</p>
<p>A new pressure on my leg, and then another on my neck. Tight. So tight. </p>
<p>"Of course, Jacob. Take her into my main chambers. Strap her down when they've scooped out the last Sinner."</p>
<p>Footsteps leaving, tapping against the metal. The arrogant stench of confidence and aftershave fucking ridiculous.</p>
<p>A door swung open. Metal. Metal. Metal. An incredible amount. Stench of blood and piss thick around us. The red twinge a forever reminder of the suffering inflicted here.</p>
<p>Sloshing of water, back and forth. A mop dragging against the floor, in and out the bucket. </p>
<p>Gruff spoke up, as I felt him tilt to lean against something.</p>
<p>"Won't be long, kid. They don't mind a splash of blood in here for dramatic effect, but guts are a pinch too much."</p>
<p>He then lifted his grip on my leg, dropping me to the ground with little grace. I waited till I was steady, lifting my hidden eyes to the red hue. </p>
<p>Curious in the fear they wished to plant in me.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>15 years old.</p>
<p>He was leaving soon. </p>
<p>She'd managed to drag him back to her, piece by piece. They still suffered, of course. Teenagers have urges. They have desires. They must be purged. They must be broken. They learned a long time ago what to say. What not to say. They kept their needs, their wants wrapped up inside. </p>
<p>They learned to suffer at their own hands.</p>
<p>Play the game.</p>
<p>That day they ran away, Mother and Father found out. </p>
<p>She admitted to it all. </p>
<p>Told them she forced him out. Dragged him. Told them she lied to him, that she told him their beloved Mother and Father were in trouble. </p>
<p>Tears running down her face. </p>
<p>An expert in this craft.</p>
<p>He never knew. </p>
<p>He never knew how much they beat her for that.</p>
<p>She had him back. The tiniest piece. And she'd go through hell for him.</p>
<p>Happily.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I got one final bite. The oily rag had come loose at the back when Gruff had dropped me. I waited till he was close, strapping me firmly to the chair. He was stubborn. </p>
<p>One wrist.<br/>
One forearm.<br/>
One upper bicep.</p>
<p>One arm - Nope.</p>
<p>Two arm - CHOMP.</p>
<p>Caught him on the shoulder. A proper bite, one he soon wouldn't forget. He punched me for that. Solid, knocking the chair flat across the ground as I laughed.</p>
<p>I blinked behind the blindfold. That hurt. But laughter was such a pain relief. He dragged me back up, yanking the blindfold down, and the oily rag back up, tightening it at the back.</p>
<p>I finally saw Gruff. Face attuned to war. A grin on his lips. Blood dripping down his arm onto mine, as he leaned forward and over my chair.</p>
<p>Hair red. Eyes blue. Fire and water = Nature's daughter.</p>
<p>"Oh you, kid, yoooou are gonna be my next project. That deputy has nothing on ya. You wait an fucking see. You're gonna wish John kept you."</p>
<p>I winked at him, knowing he'd prefer fear. He kissed my brow, yanked the blindfold up, and I heard him storm out. </p>
<p>I'm gonna miss that fucker.</p>
<p>All I have to do is piss off the brother, and he'll gut me like a fish.</p>
<p>Easy pie.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>16 years old.</p>
<p>Last day.</p>
<p>Suit and tie.</p>
<p>Appropriate dress, down below the knees.</p>
<p>Personal family Bibles held calmly in their clean hands.</p>
<p>Flash of light.</p>
<p>Another, to make certain that it's perfect.</p>
<p>She watches as he kisses their Mother on her perfumed cheek. </p>
<p>The Mother shows no emotion.</p>
<p>She watches as he shakes their Father's hand. A firm grip. Steady, strong, and practiced.</p>
<p>The Father shows no emotion.</p>
<p>He turns to her. Catches her eye. </p>
<p>He raises a gentle, skinny hand on her shoulder, pulls her to him. One quick, tight hug. </p>
<p>Knowing they don't have long, they whisper.</p>
<p>He with <br/>
"Sleep well, Mouse."</p>
<p>She with<br/>
"Sleep well, Blue."</p>
<p>A cough behind him. </p>
<p>Reminding them.</p>
<p>Like they'd ever forget.</p>
<p>A silent nod.</p>
<p>"God be with you, Jana."</p>
<p>Her final words to him. </p>
<p>And they have to be this.</p>
<p>"God be with you, John."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Silence, except for the scuffing of my boots on metal. To and fro, to and fro. </p>
<p>Screaming from elsewhere. Not here. </p>
<p>Laughing from elsewhere. Not here.</p>
<p>Boots.</p>
<p>1234</p>
<p>I declare a thumb war.</p>
<p>Finally, some action.</p>
<p>Door swings open somewhere behind me. The breeze brushes the curls off my neck, letting them swing before the party begins.</p>
<p>Door swings shut. Something covers the red light. No point tipping my head up. He knows I know they're there. </p>
<p>A rough grip to my chin, spotting the blood beneath my mouth from biting his brother. I'd spit it in his face if he'd let me.</p>
<p>"So. You bit my brother. Quite a Wrathful thing to do, don't you think, my dear?"</p>
<p>A twitch in my memory. Nothing. No. Sit your ass back down, memory.</p>
<p>If this was a question, how on earth was I supposed to reply with oily rag?</p>
<p>As if just noticing this, it was ripped out, the blindfold shifting down slightly with the force. I could just make out his cocky, greasy haircut, bathed in red.</p>
<p>I licked my lips. Spitting out blood and oil residue to the side. Noticing another frame of a person in the corner of the room. </p>
<p>3 &amp; 4.</p>
<p>"The Gruff bitch pissed me off." I grinned, noticing the Cocky brother tip his head to the side. </p>
<p>"Mhmmm. Well, whatever the reason, he brought you directly here, skipping the Cleansing entirely. You must be cleansed. In fact..." Cocky continued, starting a pace along the splashy metal floor "... My brother requested that you suffer within the Cleansing. Add a little bite of his own, you understand."</p>
<p>"Do whatever, Cocky. I got places to be, people to shoot in the gut, pizza to eat. Fuck knows I've been "cleansed" enough God damn times."</p>
<p>The mystery figure spoke up. A man, slight southern accent. Fairly familiar.</p>
<p>"You've been cleansed more than once, my child?"</p>
<p>"I'm not your fucking child. You don't know anything about me! And yeah, they enjoyed that shit. Usually followed by pain. If you didn't suffer enough, you weren't atoning enough. Bitch bitch bitch." I spat out, rolling my eyes for my pleasure only.</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Mystery man became shadow before me, standing next to Cocky. Mystery crouched down, tipping my chin up as I snarled at him.</p>
<p>"What's your name, my ch...my dear?"</p>
<p>"What's it to you?! Just kill me or cleanse me. Either way, get out of my face."</p>
<p>Cocky placed a hand on Mystery's shoulder. A quiet conversation between the two of them took place, and then Mystery stepped back into the shadows. No door closed, he was still there.</p>
<p>Cocky took his place crouching down ahead of me. </p>
<p>He was silent. I could just see his head shifting up and down. Like I was more interesting.</p>
<p>An arm of his reached up, brushing his hair back, he coughed, he twitched. </p>
<p>I was impatient. He was taking his sweet time.</p>
<p>Maybe this was part of the torture.</p>
<p>"I...Fuck... I knew this would happen, you know? I knew you were there." </p>
<p>Cocky lowered his voice.  </p>
<p> "You were always there."</p>
<p>The fuck?</p>
<p>A quick lift and a flick away of the blindfold, and...Blue. So much Blue. The red hue of this room of pain faded away, and we two were in the sky's grasp once more.</p>
<p> "Blue?"</p>
<p> Such a glorious smile, as pure as that day we ran away.</p>
<p> "Yeah, Mouse. It's Blue."</p>
<p> I fought against my bonds. </p>
<p>Blue noticed, wrapping his arms around me to drag a blade from fuck knows where. </p>
<p>His teasing voice, I knew I knew it, whispering in my ear</p>
<p> "Try not to bite me now, darling."</p>
<p> I laughed as he cut the ties, jumping onto him and tackling him into the pool of blood.</p>
<p>The only sounds was our laughter, the blood squishing beneath us, screaming in the distance, and a deep chuckle from the Mystery in the corner.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>6 years old.</p>
<p>"Yes yes yesyesyes. God, yes. Please please please. Yes, YES!!"</p>
<p>He wouldn't stop. He just kept repeating it in his sleep. She could hear him through the walls. They were separated. Split by chained doors. </p>
<p>The windows, however...</p>
<p>Tiny feet against marble stone skirting the giant house. The cold nipping at her toes. Keep going. Find him. Follow the Yes.</p>
<p>She squirmed her way through his window, quietly. So very quiet.</p>
<p>She found him. Bruised. Beaten. She knew the pain, of course, but the YES in his sleep was so very new.</p>
<p>She clambered onto the soft bed, much too big for children, and slipped under the covers. </p>
<p>No amount of whispering would wake him. But her freezing toes might. She pressed her toes to his legs, and he jolted awake.</p>
<p>She wrapped her little arms around him. Tighter and tighter until he stopped squirming. The "Yes" dying on his lips.</p>
<p>"...What?! Jana?! You should not be here!! I'm okay! You have to leave!"</p>
<p>"Shhh, big brother. I'll protect you now."</p>
<p>Silence as he took this in. She'd never called him "Brother" before. He'd never been big brother to anybody before.</p>
<p>But</p>
<p>But...He had big brothers.</p>
<p>Tears crept down his cheeks. He had forgotten them. How could he forget that?! What had Mother and Father done to him?! Why did they make him forget? </p>
<p>He wasn't alone anymore. </p>
<p>It's like a snap in his young mind. They'd made him forget. </p>
<p>He wasn't alone.</p>
<p>He looked down at her. Her little arms around him, her pointy chin resting on his bruised collarbone.</p>
<p>He wasn't alone.</p>
<p>"How'd you get in here anyway, little sister?"</p>
<p>She looked up at him, smiling as brightly as he'd ever seen. </p>
<p>Little sister. Big brother. 2 years apart.</p>
<p>"I climbed through the window."</p>
<p>He laughed, disappearing under the covers to keep quiet.</p>
<p>"Like a little mouse?"</p>
<p>She giggled, her light curls brushing against him.</p>
<p>"Yeah, like a little mouse."</p>
<p>He draped the covers over them both, making sure to point the two of them towards the uncovered window to let the sun wake them up before their Mother and Father did.</p>
<p>They slept soon after. She woke up first, catching the sun as it rose. The sky casting a gentle light over the two new siblings. </p>
<p>She turned to her big brother, watching him mutter in his sleep. Gentle. A soft memory. He woke up as the sun slowly appeared on stage.</p>
<p>Blue. His eyes were so blue. The sky lit him up. Their Mother and Father aged them both, but the sky kept him young.</p>
<p>Mouse and Blue. </p>
<p>Sleep well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm quite chuffed with this One Shot, and am already working on the next part of the Before Series. Hope you enjoyed :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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